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Hello, world!

It’s time to talk about our favorite subject: Wikileaks!

No, seriously, what’s up with this?  Suddenly every major news carrier is yelling about this website.   The internet, as always, has a strong opinion and is hacking somebody’s stuff somewhere.

To you, person who has no idea what’s going on or why ‘Wikileaks’ is notable at all:

First, I envy you.  Ignorance is bliss.  Second: I’m about to tell you why.

See, Wikileaks is a publicly edited site that shows secrets.  I’m not talking about “who ate the last oreo” secrets, I’m talking about tech blueprints, government communications, and which daytime TV hosts are human (hint: none).

Recently, this website has let loose some screamers leaked from the U.S. government, causing an international conniption fit and causing a number of web hosts to scream like little girls and drop Wikileaks from their support.

There are two schools of thought in this issue. Of course, there are the shades of gray, the people who claim they’re “neutral,” and children, but I’ll ignore those for the sake of simplicity while I elucidate the basis of the disagreement.

One side, represented by Wikileaks, 4chan, and internet vigilante groups, says “OMG GOVERNMENT IZ TEH NOES, LULZ IZ STEELIN UR SECRETZ” which means roughly: “information should flow freely, and simply releasing a few secrets should not cause international war, because all the governments should, like, be totally chillaxed about it.”

In [roughly] direct opposition are various governments, some internet moderation groups, and a few corporations. They are of the opinion that these secrets are secrets for a reason, and that some things are just not meant to be known. In other words, they believe there cannot be world peace and a free flow of information.

On behalf of reasonable, intelligent people, I would like to take this opportunity to ask both sides to kindly CHILL THE HECK OUT. LIKE, OH, MY GOD.

You’re looking at the last half of a teen romantic comedy, where the antagonist has gathered the secrets of everyone in the school in an embarrassing book and throws the entire place into an uproar. Actually, I think this is the last act of Mean Girls, but I could be wrong. (I mean, it’s not like I’ve seen that movie…I just, uh…heard about it. Yeah.)

Political people: International incidents are being caused because someone made a comment about a poorly fitted toupee.  Grow up! This isn’t a Tom Clancy novel–I seriously doubt there are any easily accessible secrets that will plunge the world into nuclear war.  As for you, internet people, remember that information moves at the speed of light, while political systems are practically glacial in comparison.  And while sxetroll2468 may appreciate your actions in leaking military documents, some areas of the world are sensitive enough that people can die as a result. Look at your keyboard. Now back to this. Now back at your keyboard, NOW BACK TO THIS.

HYAH!

Ahem.

I was distracted by a meme.  Sorry.

So basically–think twice. That’s our moral for the day.  Think twice before you upload sensitive political documents to the internet.   Think twice before you flip out over the day’s leak.  Think twice before you get on the wrong bus (grr…).

Think twice before trolling a Mormon.

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One Comment

  1. OMG.
    I like that blog post. It’s so awesome, I think I’m reading an email you sent me.


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